Connective Cube

Lissa tosses her Milky Way wrapper amongst the Snickers and Reese’s. The guilt over eating sugar, of imagining a momentary candy island, lasts maybe five seconds. It is a much shorter shift of euphoria, and an even longer one of craving the next square pellet of goo.

This happens again for the third time. That is, gaining 25 pounds within six months. It starts with not even bothering with a scale, and then increasing purchases in Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup duos. Lissa used to buy a pack and keep one for the next day.

Yesterday, she ate three packages of Reese’s. The wrappers scatter across her linoleum wood printed floor just beside her floor mattress. The person who had the room before took her bedframe, but left the mattress. Lissa lost her mattress in the move out of her place six months ago, and this mattress’ thick foam hardens and softens according to the weather. The mattress is always soft in the morning when Lissa wakes up, warmer than the sting of freezing rain out her one window.

She won’t get up today, she decided. Just like last weekend. She called her friends, talked to family members, and everyone. Most of her friends think she still looks the same as her Facebook page.

One day, she spent 10 minutes on the phone listening to one friend elaborate on the finer points of sugar causing blood cancer, a shorter lifespan, diabetes, a joy of slow death. That was three months ago. They used to talk twice a month. Well, mostly Kacey, the friend, talked about her new fitness plan and how she gained two pounds over the holidays. Kacey saw the last gain, the swelling of glutes and alteration of soft lined legs. Lissa had Kacey stand in front of the treadmill and yelled. Lissa smashed her fat rolls into a size extra-large pant looking down to make sure no cleavage.

Lissa has to be at work in an hour. She decided not to eat sugar for the rest of the day. Her arugula salad with lemon pepper dressing would be lunch. The wrappers on the floor stay when Lissa closes the door, the whole contents of Halloween sized bags for children.