Connective Cube

I need a nap most days lately. My naps aren’t for sleep.

A mental sigh from the current moment of zinging from climate change, the multiplicity of wars, inflation, and Roe vs. Wade.

In my naps, my mind wanders, and wonders.

I drive, shell-shocked by all the re-movement. It is a continuation of stillness over the past couple of years, one where even seeing large groups of people or sitting in moving vehicles feels strange, unsettling, where our breath intermingles. To share a breath, how intimate is that now?

Initially, it wanders into the relief of sunset ovaries, and a momentary justification for my proclivity for sugar.

Kids. I knew I didn’t want them when I was 14 and was the oldest of parents who married young and had me and sis, divorced soon after, and had more kids. Kids are a lot of work. Going to a lot of baseball games is even more work, gymnastics meets for sis, grandma care, sometimes I helped, sometimes I resented sitting in the car so much, going here, going there, in transit between my parent’s emerging worlds.

I wonder why my dog can get sterilized at ease, and I have to beg.

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